cool beans.

It’s been a while since I’ve been here.  I love it though.  I find the most randomest time to stumble across this and sometimes..well..most of the time, it’s my head wanting to spit some word vomit out.

Things have been great.  In regards to opportunities and future endeavors, doors have opened and I am grateful.  ACT has been a doozy and has been kickin my butt, but for a good reason.  I just feel empowered overall.

Nethertheless…with all the good…I’m a bit tired.  Fatigue has settled in as all my endless commitments have taken a strain on my health.  I’m not dying or anything, but I just have those moments where I just want to chill in front of the TV and take a nap…not because I’m tired but because I have the time and leisure to do so.  It’s all good…just gotta make time to chill for a quick sec.

But yeah, recently learned that my personality type is a supporter.  And having my interpersonal relationships be in good harmony is important to me.  Of course, nothing’s perfect.  It’s just crazy to see people act and behave in a certain way as you take back and observe.  People watching at its finest.  Some the close friends I have still amaze me with reactions or what not.  I don’t understand it sometimes, but to tell you the truth…they probably don’t understand it either.  I’m constantly reminding myself to really either move on and not passively aggress or actually be part of the solution/change that will make things happen.  I”m constantly learning things about myself and challenge folks to tell me how I show up.  It’s all about stretching yourself and being uncomfortable sometimes to really realize how far you’d go for something.

All in all, people don’t change…But the ways of being of individual can.

Haha. word.

-Vince

New York…Back In The Bay

Hello.  Haven’t blogged in ages.  But with the encouragement of J.Ar and just the usage of healthy word vomit, it seems like the timing is right now.

Yes…in recent events, I have just returned from a great trip to New York this past weekend.  Project EM and Funkanometry SF were invited by the east coast’s Fr3sh dance crew for their event, Main Event.  It was interesting to see the talent and varying tastes of music on the east coast.  Overall, fun ass times.   Getting to know everyone in the Funkbrella outside of the usual city dance environment was refreshing and I’m fortunate to get to know folks on a better level.  Took pics and video recorded some stuff, and I realized this whole video blogging is a little harder than it looks.  Fun stuff though.

But yeah, I think I wouldn’t mind living there, I think it is a more intense version of Downtown SF and Haight combined.  A little cracked out.  But yeah, a nice taste test for the amount of time we had.  Can’t wait to go back and come back with a game plan to explore.  Not having an idea of doing stuff kinda had its lag moments.  But yeah, partying and spending time with the Funkbrella has been a pleasure indeed. 

So in recent events.  Drama.  I dunno.  I feel like folks to need to “get it together”, which are some wise words from Mr. Kyle Limin himself.  Haha.  I was so sad at the beginning of the semester because I felt like this semester was suppose to be cake.  Everything was figured out, planned, relationships were stable, friends were cool.  But like you know, life would never be just a walk in the park and everything I thought I knew…just imagine this.  A clear day, but suddenly a tornado comes and launches you somewhere else.  A little dramatic, but the idea is that, things have shifted.  You think you know, but you don’t.

Right now, I’m just trying to “edit” things in my life.  I dunno, I’ve grown more independent I believe through these past couple months and if anything, feel like I have a level head once again.  Just being able to adapt and take things for what they are, voicing my opinions, understanding other people and myself.  It’s been a good couple of months of reflecting and I hope it continues.

I know for sure…I’m just keeping the people I love close and trying to not be impulsively obsessed with maintaining things that don’t want to be maintained.  It really just goes back to this whole idea of “knowing what you’re worth is”.  I know that I’m not the most confident person in the word, but goddamn it, I’m happy with who I am.  Folks gotta really remember that.  This statement shouldn’t be taken to the point of self indulgence or arrogance, it’s about knowing who you are as a person and not letting outside factors, whatever it may be, chip away the essence of who you really are.

Well.  I’m just gonna end with this.  I realized that in certain circumstances.  You can not agree with what a person decides to do, in regards to their actions, but you still can support and be there for that individual, especially if that person means a lot to you.

Lates,

vince

The definition…

of insanity is doing something over and over again and hoping/thinking that there will be a different outcome.

Whatevs.

I’m thankful for…
- My mom for appreciating me and expressing it to me.  You always strive for your parents approvals, whether you like it or not, and it really seems now that they feel like I’m doing okay.
- Chill sessions with Lena and JP in the master bedroom.
- Appreciations for musicals.
- Jolly Jumpers
- Yoswirl

People are amazing.  Socially, it’s so remarkable to see how people act and interact with one another especially when it comes to relationships or the sort.  I’ve seen a lot of dysfunctional…let me reword that…I’ve seen a lot of unhealthy relationships this past year and maybe it’s just because I have a background in psychology, but it’s fascinating to notice how people just end up in these cycles and are somewhat trapped.  I don’t know.  I’ve come to realize that no matter what one says in regards to any matter, people are inclined to not listen til they experience what they’re trying to avoid.  Weird right?  I guess it’s just part of that learning process.  And I’ve come to grips to that.  Friends are there to pick them up when the pieces fall, but know when it’s been broken so many times, what is there left to pick up?

I don’t know.  Just word vomiting like usual.  Lates.

Fatigue

Right now I’m sitting at the RPM desk, on my last day of work here, just doing nothing. With the fan whirring from behind because of the pulsing sun blazing from the windows, I’m staring at this screen, groggy eyed and unable to study.

Well. It’s been a rough week physically, I guess. Games practice, FJD practice, roll call practice, and the rest of the friendship games biz. Sidenote. Wanted to go watch an advanced screening of Nick and Norah’s yesterday, but things didn’t end up going as planned and didn’t want to go by myself. Just my luck that Michael Cera and the other girl were there to introduce the movie. You’re probably going….WHAT! Yeah, that was my reaction too. . But yeah, I guess things happen for a reason.

On another tangent, white water rafting this past weekend was an experience to remember. If anything, I really just took the river as a metaphor for life. When those rapids gets rough, all you gotta do is get through it and go with the flow.

I’m just gonna end up with a couple things I’m thankful for this week:
- Thankful for my mom. She didn’t know that I was gone for two days instead her assumed one and basically went to my best friends house to ask about me. If she wasn’t home she would have drove all the way to SF to see if I was there. Luckily, I was able to call her back when I got signal again. Boo on nature. But at least I know she cares.
- Thanks to Mary for the catch up session + dinner.
- Thanks to JPeezy for being one of the roomates I’ve always wanted since I entered college. Talkin about girls have never been so much fun. Haha. Wenis.
- Thanks Lena.  Always keeping me well nourished.  Haha.  You know my weak spot is for food.

Fin.

Summer Breeze…Makes Me Feel Fine

So summer has come to an end and the first week of school has finally set in.  It’s funny how the sun has finally come out in SF when vacation time is dunzo. But I am thankful at least for this opportunity to soak up as much Vitamin D as I can.  Lord knows how pale I get in the Winter.

Summer.  Let’s just say this has been one of the most eventful summer’s in a long time.  Can it be attributed to the fact that I’m 21?  Maybe.  It has just been a blast just continuing this year’s endless counts of experiences.  Las Vegas with some of the dopest people you’ll meet.  Camp Ohana.  49′ers game, A’s Game, Giant’s game with the amigos.  SoCal with fam.  Kick its with fam.  Meeting new folks.  Between work, family, friends, this summer flew by like no other and I’m so fortunate to have the opportunity to enjoy.

The end of the summer bash was the cherry on top of the summer’s festivities.  Goin’ down to SoCal with some of my best friends, venturing into LA (with RayRay), Huntington Beach, and San Diego (to visit Erwin)…yes it was crazy to have done so much in such little time.  But what can I say, we’re quite the unreasonable bunch.

It’s weird.  This moment in time…right now…it feels good.  It feels right.  I’ve never felt so much contentment in so many aspects in my life.  Of course there are still some areas of uncertainty that needs work, but for the most part, things feel good.  I don’t want to go into too many details, in case i jinx it.  Everything seems like its meshing well.

Sidenote.  Things have gone into drama mode for a quick second.  It sucks seeing the people you love hurt and especially when they project their hurt and displace it on others.  I’m just praying that everyone is able to find their state of peace.  As much as there’s a lot of chaos occurring, I’m optimistic and I feel like it is, in some way or another going to bring us closer together.

Like I always say…it will be the day when we look back and can laugh about all of this.  Haha.  I want to insert a couple references…but I shall not.  TABOO.

Hope

This weekend was a weekend of many news. I don’t mean news as in current events news but as in doing things for the first time new. My cousin/friend Ray just went back to Montana today for school and we wanted to go do something before his departure. Me, Ray, and Teresa ended up venturing to a party in the South Bay. I didn’t know where we were going at first but Aileen told us to come out. I later found out that this was a going away party for a person I met a week ago and the only people I knew there were Aileen, Tin Mai, the person (Albert), and the another person I met that same meeting.

So…I thought it was going to be totally awkward being in a setting like this. Not knowing who to associate with. Who to talk to? And you don’t want to cling onto the people you already know and have them babysit you. So…I was faced with a choice. Become a social butterfly and basically put yourself out there, with a possibility of having a good time or just act socially retarded in isolation. Haha. So luckily, I had the strength to flip on that social switch and ended up meeting a handful of cool folks.

What was interesting was that this was my first South Bay party and lo and behold…almost everybody there was Chinese or Vietnamese. For those who know me, this is pretty new to me. Being around a predominantly Filipino community this was totally a different social setting. I think I have been a little judgmental in the past and failed to associate with a lot of Vietnamese or Chinese people due to bad experiences in high school. But in this case I found some folks I really got along with.

This kinda builds up to my perspectives of hope because at this party I was able to be attracted to another person again. Cute girl and let’s just leave it at that for now. Haha. But yeah, I guess being in the same circle of friends and most of them being in couples already, doesn’t allow much for a dating scene. So it was nice feeling that “crush” feeling and having that attraction. I was starting to think I was asexual. Haha. But all in all, hope is once again rekindled within my heart.  As kawawa as it may sound, I was sort of getting discouraged with this notion of relationships.  And you may be asking about this one girl, right? Just wait and see. Haha.

worries.

It’s funny…or maybe it’s not funny, but it’s interesting to see how things unfold in this crazy world we live in.  We could be on an all time high and in one instance an occurrence could just create a topple effect and one could just hit rock bottom.  Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but…I guess it just illustrates this crazy roller of a coaster of a ride we call life.

With this said, we never know what is going to happen and sometimes when these bad things happen you always end up asking why.  It sucks because usually the good people in this world get snubbed and get the short end of the stick.  Crazy.  I don’t know where I’m going with this.  Maybe I do.  It just sucks to see the people you love in pain and to know that there are people out there inflicting that pain, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally.  I’m not much of a religious person but I do like to think I’m more spiritual and keep people in my thoughts.  Positive energy right?  Like how a phoenix rises from the ashes, I believe that people are capable to rise and become stronger from the adversity that seems to plague their lives.

Fin.

I hope you find the strength I know you have to overcome this.  You deserve better and no one should ever have to feel the hurt that you’re experiencing now.

Dance

So. Fanny Pak has been kicked off from MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew. I genuinely felt sad in seeing them go especially seeing them perform the last couple weeks. I think they proved themselves through this whole competition, displaying an out of the box approach in creativity and being able to display their ability to combine technicality and showmanship. DAMN. Fanny Pak and SoReal have been my top 2 [Supreme Soul = #3], but FP really just progressed and found a formula that worked for the show.

Damn it america. Haha. Oh well. I guess I’m just bitchin’ because it’s so reminiscent of last year’s tragic Kaba dismissal. All in all…I think it’s rigged. Boo on reality television. But yeah…my best bet for the win would be SoReal now. YEE!

On another, less ranty, note, this whole summer has really just revitalized my love for dance and I think it’s like fate telling me and the people around me…to really get on it. Inspiration from so many sources just came out of nowhere..whether it be meeting up with Emerson, watching Dance Crew, or SYTYCD. It really opened my eyes to all the possibilities. With this in mind, I really just want to take this by the horns and really explore this interest of dance to its fullest.

Currently, I’m excited for FJD dancing. Just came up with a possible new concept for a routine. Maybe a modern interpretation of the seven deadly sins. Maybe.

I think these moments of inspiration are the things that really keep me going through the trials and tribulations of life itself.

Fin.

The Beginning

Dear World…

Just kidding. Haha. Cheesy way to start a blog. But…here I am at work, sitting at the desk, sitting next to Mary (I actually get to work with her this time), and we decided that it would be great to start something to somehow openly express ourselves. Sorry JP and Alister for biting off you guys. Know that imitation is the highest form of flattery .

But yeah, I thought having this would be a little bit more grown in relation to my teenage angst driven xanga. Change is always healthy right?

And I guess going off this notion of change, I’ve noticed a change that has been happening a lot amongst my surroundings, whether it be my friends, etc., and especially myself. So to have something new seemed fitting for the circumstances at hand. I really do just miss writing though. The psychology of the mind can only be held within itself for so long so….here my mind’s word vomit to say the least.